December 6, 2024

Vita Nectar

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What every parent needs to know about eating disorders

What every parent needs to know about eating disorders

Bore explains that while some behaviours are more obvious – such as leaving the table immediately to go to the bathroom, or excessively exercising by walking miles to school and back, having always taken public transport previously – other signs are more subtle. “Your child might, for example, tell you they want to eat healthily and try to take over food preparation. While, on the surface, helping in the kitchen seems great, this could be an early sign of orthorexia [an eating disorder that includes an obsession with ‘pure’ food].  

“In addition, you might notice mood swings, social withdrawal, irritability or fatigue, or perhaps your child has lost or gained a bit of weight. Any or all of these things in isolation or observed from time to time might be nothing – your child might simply be interested in eating well or getting fit – but trust your instincts and if the new behaviour becomes frequent, obsessive or secretive, don’t wait to tackle it.”

I believe my child is at risk – what should I do?

Expert consensus is to tackle the issue head-on with empathy, patience and sensitivity. “The first thing to do is open up a conversation with your child,” says Malik. “Do not do this around mealtimes or when tensions in the home are high. Pick a time when your child and the environment is calm. In the first instance, avoid talking directly about food or weight. A good opener would be: ‘I’ve noticed you’ve been a bit quiet lately, do you want to talk about it?’”

Bore agrees: “We advise sitting alongside your child, putting your arm around them and asking ‘How can we get through this together?’ That’s far less isolating and non-shaming. They may well deny anything is wrong at first, but again, trust your instinct, keep communication going and seek professional help if you are concerned.”

The path to professional help will normally begin with your GP, who should refer you either to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) or a specialist service. However, NHS services are under extreme pressure and waiting times can be frustratingly long. 

Integrative psychotherapist Tanya Garrity is a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy and works on the frontline with young people and their families directly affected by eating disorders. She says: “The guidelines from NICE [the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence] describe a set of symptoms for GPs and professionals to look at when they suspect a child has an eating disorder, but there are still cases of misdiagnosis, and parents and carers can sometimes feel their concerns have not been heard. 

Beat has a downloadable sheet you can print out and take with you when you see your GP, and if you still feel you aren’t getting anywhere, use an online directory of services such as the one from the National Centre for Eating Disorders or Beat’s Helpfinder page and call a private practice to get advice, as they can signpost you to further help so you don’t feel stuck. You can have a one-off assessment or, if money is tight, most therapists will speak to you by phone or email without charge to offer guidance. It can seem difficult to access help at first, but the important thing is not to give up.”

But what if your child doesn’t want to see a professional? Again, communication is key. “Explain to them that you feel it would be good if they had someone outside the family to talk to about what they’re experiencing,” says Garrity. “A surprising number of children will take help when offered, but if they won’t see a GP or talk to a therapist, you can always take the first steps and book an appointment yourself to talk things through so that you feel empowered.

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